


Hypothesis

by NerdsbianHokie



Series: Scientific Method [1]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alex has her gay panic in grad school, F/F, One Night Stands, Pre-Canon, because Lucy, cause dude is useless, failed f/f/m threesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-12-05 14:27:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11579937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NerdsbianHokie/pseuds/NerdsbianHokie
Summary: Alex looked up Lucy’s body - legs, abs, boobs, eyes.“I think I might be gay,” she whispered.Lucy’s eyes crinkled as she laughed.  “You think?”Alex nodded absently.  “I do, but I can worry about that later.”Hypothesis: if she liked sleeping with girls more than guys, she might be gay.Step one: research.





	Hypothesis

Alex smiled at the bartender as she slid another drink across the counter.  The woman winked at her before turning to her next customer.  Alex’s smile fell slightly, her brow furrowed as she tried to analyze the way her stomach flipped, the way her cheeks blushed, but her brain was too muddled with exhaustion and alcohol to get very far.  She shook her head and pushed the thought aside.

It was probably just the alcohol.

It was always just the alcohol.

She picked up the glass and turned to lean back against the bar.  She looked around the club, gauging the nights possibilities.  She was nowhere near drunk enough to approach anyone, but was quickly nearing drunk enough to go home with whichever guy asked.  The options, so far, were varied, as she noted everyone eying her.

The pair of Frat Boys further down the bar, still in their khaki shorts and boat shoes.  She could already smell the Axe-tinged dirty laundry of their dorm, could already hear their stories about  _ The Yacht _ .

The guy on the dance floor looking over another girls head.  He would find another target in about five minutes.  Probably a new dance partner too.

The girl leaning against the wall with the short hair and leather jacket.  She smirked when she noticed Alex looking.

The couple at the table in the corner.  He was massive and decent looking.  She was tiny and gorgeous.

The guy in one of the booths she was pretty sure she had slept with the previous month.  She had left even more underwhelmed than usual.

She blinked and looked back at the couple.

They really were both looking her way.  She took a sip of her drink.

There was no way they were just friends with one winging for the other, not with how close they were sitting, not with his arm over her shoulders.  Not with him pressing a kiss to her cheek.

whatever

Alex pushed whatever part of her cared aside and downed the rest of her drink in one swing.  She shook her head against the burn, then slid the glass back across the bar.  She was out on the dance floor before the drink settled, ready to lose herself to the beat, ready to forget midterms the next week and the increasing amount of voice messages from her mother and the worried looks her adviser kept giving her and and and

A body pressed against her back, picking up her rhythm, hands on her hips pulling her close.  The alcohol in her system kept her reflexes slow enough for her brain to remind her to not pull away.  It was what she wanted, was why she was in the club.

Another body slid in front of her.

She blinked against the strobe lights and, oh.

The girl from the table.  The one with the guy.

Who was probably the person behind her.

And the girl was somehow even prettier up close, where Alex could see how green her eyes were and the shape of her nose and how one side of her smile pulled up more.

The girl lifted her arms up and around Alex’s neck, linking her fingers together beneath Alex’s hair.  She pressed close to Alex, lifting herself up just enough to speak in Alex’s ear.

“You could go home with anyone in here tonight,” she said.

Alex settled her hands on the girl’s waist, the tips of her fingers crossing from shirt to bare back, and for a moment, for a glorious moment, she could pretend it was just her and the girl.  She pushed the moment away, brushed it aside and ignored it.

“You sound so sure about that,” she said.

The girl laughed.  “I am, and so are you.”

Alex tilted her head and raised an eyebrow.

“But you should come home with us,” the girl continued.

“You’re inviting me to a threesome?”

The girl just grinned at her, the one side still higher than the other.

Alex felt all of her usual excuses in the back of her brain, the ones she always gave when chatted up by a couple or a girl.  She could feel them in her throat, trying to claw up, but they didn’t feel like enough.  They felt like barely anything with this girl’s eyes on her and this girl’s skin beneath her fingers.

She was usually so much better at this, so much better at pushing this away, but she couldn’t find the reasons to.

and, maybe, maybe…

College was for experimenting, right?  As a scientist, she should experiment as much as possible, right?

She tightened her grip on the girl’s waist and leaned down.

“Lead the way.”

Which was how, barely an hour later, Alex found herself awkwardly sitting on the edge of a bed, next to the prettiest girl she had ever met - Lucy, she had learned, her name was Lucy - as Lucy’s boyfriend lay behind them, completely passed out.

And snoring.

She didn’t even have her pants off yet.

Lucy sighed.  “I’m sorry.”  She pulled her feet up onto the mattress, wrapped her arms around her knees, and rested her chin on them.  “He doesn’t usually do this.”

“Cum and done?”

Lucy snorted.  She tilted her head to look at Alex, her cheek pressed against her knee, then lifted her head and stared at the wall with a tight smile.

“No, he usually passes out after cumming, it’s just usually not until well after his own pants are off.”

Alex chuckled.

“He must have had a few more drinks than I thought,” Lucy mumbled.

Alex hummed and looked around the room, desperate to look at anything but Lucy’s mostly naked body with the muscles and the boobs and…right, the room.

It definitely came across as more of his room than Lucy’s, with protein bottles on the dresser and shirts hanging out of the open drawers.  A calendar hung on the wall, the Golden Retriever for September still on display.  A packed Army surplus duffel sat in the corner, a military hat sitting on top that Alex recognized as a female officer’s hat, and…

oh

She looked back at Lucy, who gave her a sad smile.

“I report back to base tomorrow.”  She glanced at the clock on the nightstand.  “Tonight.  We ship out Monday.”  She shook her head and laughed.  “Last night of freedom for a year and my boyfriend is useless.”

“You decided to have a threesome your last night with him?”

Lucy shrugged.  “Told him I was bi when the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell repeal was announced.  A threesome was the first thing he asked about.  I’ve been hesitant, but knew we wouldn’t last the deployment, so I figured, why not?  Seemed as good a way to sleep with a girl for the first time as any.”

“You’ve never slept with a girl?”

“And risk discharge?  Hell, I’ve barely looked at girls the past few years.”

Alex looked away from Lucy and stared at the window across from the bed.  The curtains were drawn, a dark red with a burnt corner.

“Have you?” Lucy asked, pulling Alex’s attention back.

“Have I what?”

“Slept with a girl.”

Alex was pulled into green eyes for a few moments before just barely shaking her head.

Lucy smiled, soft and open and excited.

“Do you want to?”

Alex’s chest grew heavy.  She felt the excuses in the back of her head, felt them clawing up her throat.

“Yes,” she whispered before they could get out.  She looked towards the boyfriend - had she really forgotten his name? - had he ever told her his name? - her movements jerky.

Lucy’s hand slipped into hers, skin warm and just barely calloused.  Alex followed as Lucy led her out of the room.  She stared at their joined hands, at the subtle shift in Lucy’s back as she walked, at the way the streetlights through the window seemed to make her skin glow.  Lucy stopped them in the living area, in front of the couch.

Alex raised an eyebrow.  “The couch?  Are we teenagers?”

Lucy rolled her eyes, then grew serious.  “You are over eighteen, right?”

Alex chuckled.  “So far over eighteen, all of my drinks tonight were legal.”

Lucy snorted.  “Good.”

Then Lucy was kissing her, arms around her neck like they had been in the club.

and, oh, oh god

It was soft and warm and there was nothing in Alex telling her to stop like there normally was.

She wrapped her arms around Lucy, holding her steady, holding her close.

When Lucy’s tongue gently swept across her lips, she opened them to let her in.  When Lucy started to walk, Alex let herself be guided backwards until she hit the couch.

They separated as Alex sat.

Alex looked up Lucy’s body - legs, abs, boobs, eyes.

“I think I might be gay,” she whispered.

Lucy’s eyes crinkled as she laughed.  “You think?”

Alex nodded absently.  “I do, but I can worry about that later.”

She reached out and pulled Lucy to straddle her.  Lucy settled on her lap, leaning forward to press their foreheads together.

“So you’ve never done this?” Alex softly asked.

Lucy shook her head.  “No.”

“Guess we’ll figure it out together.”

“I think we’ll manage.”

Alex giggled, then pressed forward to kiss her.

* * *

She was warm.  She was content.  One hand ran absently up and down Lucy’s back.  The skin of her clavicle tingled where Lucy’s breath hit it, slow and steady.

and, oh

fuck

fuck, fuck, fuck

She had just…they had just…but she wasn’t…

fuck.

The bliss of the moment vanished and all she was aware of was her arm going numb beneath Lucy’s weight and the press of the arm rest beneath her head.

And the overwhelming need to get out, get away.

She pulled her arm out from under Lucy, slowly, carefully, then moved away, gently lowering Lucy to the cushion.  She stared down at Lucy, at the slight pout of her lips, at the way she curled her hand under her chin.  Alex reached forward to brush some hair off of Lucy’s face, but jerked her hand back.

no

no

She had to go, had to get out.

She pulled her pants on, then slipped into the bedroom, ignoring a still sleeping Stan…Ben…boyfriend-dude-man.  She grabbed her bra and tank-top, and slipped them on as she left the room.  She grabbed her purse and shirt - thankfully right under the purse - from a table.

Soft mumbles just as she reached for the door handle made her pause, made her stop and watch Lucy for a moment as she shifted and turned on the couch.  Alex stared at Lucy’s back, smooth skin accented by scratches she had left.  She clenched her fist against the urge to go back, to sooth the wounds, to kiss Lucy awake, to to to

fuck

stop

She opened the door and stepped out of the apartment before she could have another thought.  She leaned back against the door for a moment, then rushed off.

Her walk back to her apartment was a blur, her mind swinging between hyper-focused on her surroundings, on anyone who might know what she had just done, and too preoccupied with what had happened to notice anything beyond when the stop light said she could cross the street.

She had slept with a girl.

She had slept with a girl and, fuck, she had loved every moment of it.

But she wasn’t… she couldn’t be… 

no

It didn’t fit with her plan, with her goals.

but, but

It had felt so right, so good.

And, well, she had gone into it as an experiment, right?  What sort of scientist would she be if she ignored the results?

By the time she got to her apartment, she had a plan.

She would test even further.

A single result could be an outlier, a fluke.  There could be other factors at play, variables, conditions.  She had to see if it could be duplicated, if there was a pattern.

She absently dropped her shirt on the couch, quickly changed into jeans and a clean shirt, then grabbed her backpack from the kitchen counter.  She moved around her apartment, gathering her laptop, some pens, and a few snacks.  She hesitated when she went to grab her notebook.

Did she want this in the book she took everywhere?  Did she want to risk anyone accidentally reading it?

She crossed the apartment to a plastic tub in the corner, pushed the textbooks off of the lid, and dug through it until she found what she wanted.  The diary was Lisa Frank, disgustingly colorful, a gift from Kara, and had a My Chemical Romance sticker stuck over the hugging penguins.

It also had a lock, a pretty pathetic, plastic lock, but a lock nonetheless.

The rainbows seemed fitting.

She took a deep breath, swung her backpack onto her shoulder, and looked around the apartment.

okay, okay

The university library opened in less than thirty minutes, enough time for her to grab coffee and get there when the doors opened.  The LGBT section was on the third floor, in the far corner few people used.

Hypothesis: if she liked sleeping with girls more than guys, she might be gay.

Step one: research.

* * *

Alex sighed and slumped back against the wall.  Her muscles burned, exhaustion clouded her mind, but she couldn’t go to sleep yet.  She had to finish packing her clothes first.  Kara was moving in the next day and helping her move to her new apartment.

But, she was on less than five hours of sleep over the past two days, between training with Hank and working on her thesis, and…sleep

She eyed her bed, wishing she could crawl beneath the covers and pass out.  She closed her eyes and leaned her head back.

She jerked awake, cursing at the light streaming through the window.

fuck

She fumbled for her phone and groaned when she saw the time.  She had slept for two hours.  Kara was going to arrive in three.

fuck

She pushed herself up, legs shaking, neck cramped.  She shook her head, momentarily confused when her hair didn’t cover her face before she remembered her haircut the previous week.  She ran her hand through her hair, her fingers slipping free way to early.

With a sigh, she moved towards her dresser, kicking a cardboard box ahead of her.  She moved quickly, efficiently, starting with the bottom drawer and moving up.

Pants.  Shirts.  Pajamas.  Socks and underwear.

It was in the bottom of the last drawer where she found it.

She pulled the diary out, flicking the plastic lock, running her thumb over the corner she had spilled vodka on a few months back.

The past year was more a blur than solid memories, but she remembered this.

She opened the lock, then the book.  She trailed her finger down the first page.

Hypothesis.   _ i might be gay _

Research.   _ memories - books - internet _

Variables.   _ alcohol - number of partners _

Control.   _ try guys again _

She turned the page.

_ Index Case _

She cringed at the connotation that being gay was an illness, that Lucy had infected her.

_ failed threesome _

_ green eyes _

_ drunk at first, mostly sober by sex _

Alex smiled lightly at the memories of that night.  She wrapped an arm around her waist and played with the sweater cuff.

Lucy’s Harvard sweater.

Which she had grabbed instead of her shirt in her panic to leave that morning.

By the time she had noticed it a few days later, she figured Lucy would already be gone, then realized she didn’t remember where the boyfriend’s apartment was anyway.  And, well, it was soft and warm and fit Alex perfectly.

She flipped through the rest of the diary

-the records of her attempts to sleep with guys again, all failed

-the girls she slept with once, twice, three times

-the random memories, of Vickie, of Professor Green, of watching stupid movies for a single actress

-the charts and graphs she had made one night she had drunkenly analyzed the data

She sighed and flipped back to the front.  She chewed on her lip, wandering through the apartment until she reached the kitchen.  She grabbed the pen sitting next to her laptop.

Result.  _  gay, but irrelevant _

She closed the diary, snapped the lock, and tossed it into the closest bin.

She was gay, a lesbian.  She could accept that, but it wasn’t important.

keeping Kara safe - the DEO - protecting the Earth

That was what was important, and if she wanted to do that, she had to leave that part of her life behind.  The alcohol, the clubs, the sex, it all had to stop.

She stared at the box she had put the diary in, then pulled the sweatshirt off.  She folded it, rubbing the Harvard crest with her thumb before bringing the fabric up to her nose and breathing.  She couldn’t smell Lucy anymore, hadn’t been able to for months.  With a sigh, she put the sweatshirt in the box, covering the diary.

Focus, she needed to focus.

**Author's Note:**

> This started with the idea of Alex and Lucy meeting before canon, then turned into a kinda character study of Alex figuring out she's a lesbian during her burn out in grad school.
> 
> I have plans for further pieces. Including the smut I faded to black on in this, and what happens after they meet, but they're fighting me a little, so we'll see.
> 
> Thanks to change-the-rules over on tumblr for reading through it for me, and helping me really pin down Alex’s reaction.
> 
> Edit: I've had a few people mention it, which made me realize that it might not be clear, but boyfriend-dude-guy is not James. I respect James too much to have him pass out after coming in his own pants, or to ask Lucy for a threesome as his initial reaction to her coming out as bi. Alex does not remember his name, which is why it is not ever mentioned.


End file.
